the 50's way to welcome a man when he comes home from work *how to be a perfect wife*

Wow, times surely have changed! Just how much you ask? Read on..... fun & oh, for sure something to ponder :)

http://users.rcn.com/bendesky/about/cbta/50swoman.html

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How to be the Perfect Wife.





This was taken from Helen B. Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood, published by Pacific Press in 1965. The course was designed to teach women how to be happy in marriage.






GET YOUR WORK DONE 

Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.




HAVE DINNER READY

Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.




PREPARE YOURSELF

Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.




CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER 

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dustcloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned for this homecoming.




PREPARE THE CHILDREN 

Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.




MINIMIZE ALL NOISE 

Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.




BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM 

Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.




SOME DON'TS

• Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening.
• Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through that day.
• Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.
• 
  

MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE 

Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.




LISTEN TO HIM 

You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive listener later.




MAKE THE EVENING HIS 

Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.




THE GOAL 

Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband will want to come home. He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation.

i didn't love my wife when we got married

I Didnt Love My Wife When We Got Married

Elad Nehorai

I'm a ridiculous, emotional, over-sentimental sap.  I guess that's why I told my wife I loved her on our second date.

I had tried really hard up to that point to hold it back, honestly.  I wanted to tell her on the first date, but I knew that would probably be weird.

I still remember her reaction.  She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile.  Then she nodded and looked off into the sky.

I wasn't heartbroken by the response.  I think part of me recognized that she was much smarter and more modest than me.

But as time has gone on, I also realized that she knew something that I didn't.

Like most Hasidic Jews (we both became religious later in life), our dating period lasted a very short time.  After two months of dating, we were engaged.  Three months after that, we were married.

And that whole time I was swooning.  This fire was burning in me, a fire that burned just like that second date: I was in love.

But then we got married, and everything changed.

Marriage, quicker than I was ready for, did this thing: It started sucking away that emotion.

I tried so hard to keep that fire going, to keep that emotion alight, but it got harder and harder.

I mean, how you can feel that burning love when you're sitting at the table discussing how to use the last $20 in your bank account?

How can you feel it when you get into an argument?

How can you feel it when you think it makes perfect sense to put your socks on the floor after you're done with them, and she has this crazy idea that they need to go in the laundry basket?

There was no way I could keep that dating fire burning as practicality invaded our lives.

And at first, it drove me nuts.  That emotion meant love!  That excitement was how I knew I cared for her!  But suddenly, life was this grind.  Even when I was with her.  Especiallywhen I was with her.

And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated.

But it wasn't that she wasn't giving me love, it just seemed to come at different times.

Like, when I offered to do the dishes.  Or make dinner after she had a hard day.  Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her.

I don't think I noticed this consciously for a while.  It just kept happening.

But I think it had an effect on me.  Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more.

And after each time, there would be this look she would give me.  This look of absolute love.  One that was soft and so beautiful.

It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening.

But eventually it became clear.  Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about.  It wasn't something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving.

In other words, it was in the practicality that I found the love I was looking for.

And what was even more interesting was that once I realized this on a conscious level, and started trying to find more opportunities to give, the more we both, almost intuitively, became lovey-dovey.

And now, as I'm a bit older and a bit more experienced with this relationship, I've finally come to realize something. Something I haven't wanted to admit for a long time, but is undeniable.

I didn't love my wife on that second date.

I didn't love her when we got engaged.

I didn't even love her when we got married.

Because love isn't an emotion.  That fire I felt, it was simply that: emotional fire.  From the excitement of dating a woman I felt like I could marry.  But it wasn't love.

No, love isn't an emotion or even a noun.  It's a verb.  Better defined as giving.  As putting someone else's needs above your own.

Why wasn't I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married?  Because it wasn't for her.  It was for me.  An emotion I had in my chest.

And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn't love.

Being sappy isn't love.  Telling someone you love them doesn't mean that you do.

And that's why my wife just gave me that half-smile.  She knew, even if I didn't, what love really is.

And now that I've tried to change the way I look at love, the more I become shocked at the messages of love I had gotten when I was younger.

From Disney movies, to my favorite shows like The Office, to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we're married.  An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever.

I can't imagine a bigger lie.  And I'm saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long.  And how much I'm sure those messages are bouncing around in other people's heads as well.

I think that might be a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country.  Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating.  A country of people trying to live a Disney movie.

That's a recipe for disastrous marriages; for a country with a 50 percent divorce rate;  for adultery (the classic attempt to turn the fire back on); for people who do stay together to simply live functional, loveless marriages.

It's sad to see just how common all the above is.  How many people are in pain simply because they've been lied to.

Those people deserve better.  We all deserve better.

It's time that we changed the conversation about love.  It's time that we redefine it.

Because until we do, adultery will continue to be common.  Loveless marriages.  Divorce.

Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives.

Elad Nehorai is a writer living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Five years ago, he became a religious Jew in the Chabad Hasidic community and has since written about his experience extensively, most recently in his blog Pop Chassid, where this post originally appeared. He's also the CMO of a startup called Charidy designed for people who want to help give to nonprofits. You can find him on Twitter as @PopChassid and Facebook.

Unmarried Movie trailer

So thrilled about the Unmarried Trailer you are about to watch. If you remember when I first began my relationship/girl blog one of my very first posts was about the Unmarried Movie that I have linked to here:   http://papermachepatrizia.blogspot.com/2013/02/unmarried-movie.html
Since then, we have been waiting for more! Singleness, especially within Christian circles, I would say more so in home schooled Christian circles is alarming. Again, we can start the debate of "does everyone need to be married.... it is better to be single stuff", but seriously, EVERYONE???? This is scary. I do not have sons, only daughters. If I did have sons, my husband & I would be gearing our young men to be earnestly seeking a wife, a helpmeet. No more computer time! Get off & go look! Again, I hear you saying, " but, there arent any out there worth chasing." Oh, cry me a river! :P You & I both know there are many, beautiful inside & out ladies out there just waiting. Is there any thing wrong with singleness? Absolutely not, but I will not buy that all these singles out there are to be, it just cant be.

How many times have you heard the same cry & plea from single ladies that you know? Frustration all around us if you listen closely. The Christian ladies out there are ready, at least the ones I know, but all they can do is wait. These are women who are well equipped to be wives, yet no one seems interested. Its a problem & no one seems to know what to do about it. Why? I'm befuddled really. Christians especially should be very aware & concerned as to why singleness is so prevalent. If you have an answer let me know :) Why do you think this is going on?

I give credit to this upcoming documentary the Unmarried Movie to :

https://www.facebook.com/pages/UnMarried-Movie/268337246621326
Follow them on FB as I have if you have an account. I support their effort in getting this very crucial message out. The break down of the family has been blamed on everything from homosexuality, abortion & the list goes on & those are true reasons, but lets not make light of this, singleness too is the death of family life.

Men, get out there & git yerself a wife! They are swarming all around, not hard to find. I know many available ladies out there & so do you ~ many in their late 20's & well into their 30's. Why is it so hard for the gentleman out there? Is it commitment? I'm so very curious.

You know, years ago we didn't have the Internet, some how we were able to meet many men,  not a problem at all. Yet, today we have access to this contraption & the pool is much, much larger now. I believe Internet access to hundreds of women has actually been the down fall in relationships. Its actually crippling.  Why stop at one girl when you have access to so many? Makes sense, no? I really think the computer has stifled many. Keep browsing & remain single. Another contributing factor is the gospel of having a paid off home, perfect job, college degree ect..... that has permeated the home school realm. Not that there is anything wrong with having a paid off house & car ect.... of course. However, it is keeping the men scared & non-committal & from seeking a wife, sometimes even if they desire to do so. And what about the ladies out there expecting all of this from the men? Its a scary place for both. Yes, you do want to marry a responsible man, period, not saying you should settle for less. Put the Lord first & you will grow & learn together through trial & error. But, in home schooling circles this is a crippling mindset. If you differ in my opinion, please enlighten me. :)
 I think too that Vision Forum & other organizations have been the biggest proponents of  "perfection" before marrying. "What He Must be to Marry My Daughter." I don't disagree with everything in the book, but the guys are scared! They are scared of the ladies out there & their fathers who believe they need to date the gentleman who is calling for his daughter.  Of course if you dont know the young gentleman calling it is our responsibility to get to know him for sure. How about work together on a project, have him over & spend good old fashioned time together in a family setting. One on one time with dad & suitor is necessary, but dating? Imagine if there were a book called "What She Must be to Marry My Son."????  Yikes! That would be a long book btw ;)

  The tables are turning, you now have desperate women chasing men in hopes of getting hitched, I've seen this over & over again.  Is there an answer to this dilemma? What do you say to a 30 + yr. old woman who is still waiting? Do we have an answer for her? I know quite a few ladies who are just shaking their head in dismay...... Because the truth of the matter is, its the man that has to seek & move forward; the responsibility falls on him. disclaimer: the above is NOT ruling out the foolishness of women. Because I am a mother of five daughters I tend to see from a gal's perspective. However there are many, many foolish women who are looking for perfection, are totally boy crazy, and because of that. . .are very capable of scaring men away. You can't blame the guys who ARE doing the right thing in seeking a wife--just as there are girls who are ready and would make wonderful wives, they too are few and far between.

Proverbs 18:22

22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

there is no such thing as "The One."

disclaimer: Before I get more oposition... I didnt give my opinion nor did I say I agree with this article :P Im just putting it out there! proceed!

There is no such thing as “The One.”

Tyler Wardis

http://www.tylerwardis.com/there-is-no-such-thing-as-the-one/

Gary Thomas Debunks 3 Common Myths That Most Millennial’s Believe About Marriage.

After polling my online community about the most helpful marriage resource they’ve found, I was shocked to see a book title I had never heard of show up in 1/4 of their responses. That book was Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas.

Naturally, I tabbed over to Amazon, made the purchase, spent the next couple days reading, and then reached out to Gary for an interview.

Quickly in to our time, I was thrilled to realize that Gary was no typical marriage counselor and seemed to actually enjoy life & conversation – beyond just offering formulas and making points. It didn’t take us long to veer off topic, where we landed on some golden thoughts about common myths young people believe about marriage. I thought it to be too good not to share.

MYTH: The One.

HISTORY. The idea of  ”THE ONE” and a “soul mate” comes originally from Plato, the Greek philosopher.

In his book, the Symposium, his character Aristophanese suggests that the reason romantic attraction is generally so strong, was because at one point, we were all round people. Rather, we all were both male & female, and because of this, the human race became too powerful. So, Zeus split humans in two with the intention that we’ll spend our time trying to find our other half and won’t threaten the gods.

Sounds about right, eh?

REALITY. The spouse you spend your life with is your choice.

With as little as the Bible talks about initially getting married, it implies that it is a choice based on character & faith – not feelings or destiny.

She is free to marry anyone she wishes, as long as they’re in the Lord. | 1 Corinthians 7

(Note: The debunking of this myth 5 years ago led me to immediately propose to my wife. I spent the majority of our dating relationship waiting for God to tell me she was THE ONE. He finally clued me into the fact that love is a choice, and I made the jump. It was a much needed debunking that led to one of the better decisions I’ve made in life.)

MYTH. God will bring the right person at the right time.

REALITY. We have a role to play in FINDING and choosing our spouse.

If someone came out of high school and said if God wants me to go to college, the University of Texas will contact me. Or when they graduate college, they simply sit around waiting for a call from Bill Gates to go and work for Microsoft? Obviously, this is not how getting a job works. Turns out that marriage doesn’t work this way either.

A good woman is hard to FIND… | Proverbs 31

MYTH. My feelings are a primary indicator that he/she is a good choice for a spouse.

We’ve been so inundated with teaching on how blinding sexual impurity before marriage can be, yet never warned about the detriment of emotional infatuation. Science tells us that romance lasts 12-18 months and inevitably fades. In those 12-18 months, you’re officially infatuated and prone to idealization. You stop seeing who the person actually is. You find yourself so busy trying to get them and keep them that you don’t have any emotional energy or value to truly tell if they’re worth getting or keeping. You ascribe strengths to them that they don’t have and you marry someone that doesn’t actually exist.

REALITY. Strong feelings of romance are a 12-18 month chemical reaction that often cause us, in our vulnerable, to make stupid choices.

When you marry based on idealism and romantic infatuation, you will inevitably land on the thought “He/She is not who I thought He/She was.” You married someone you didn’t know.

God created the neurochemical processes in our mind, but it’s foolish to bet our life on it. We must make this choice on a biblical and wise basis.

Gary comes out & makes some bold statements here about things many of us have thought to be longstanding truths. Is there anything he said that you either strongly agree or disagree with? Speak your mind below.

stop hanging out with women & start dating them!

So many good things on this blog! AGAIN ~ must reiterate that I do not believe the dating scene is a good thing, I know many who disagree with me. He speaks truth here, the guys are scared  ladies & Facebook certainly doesn't help. I had to cut a couple of words out that were used in this post for the sake of keeping it "clean." :) I like it better that way. 

Love this blog: 

http://www.artofmanliness.com/

Why the decline in dating?

There are probably lots of factors that have contributed to the decline of dating amongst young adults. Here are few possible ones:

1. Young adults don’t like to commit. It seems like people in my generation aren’t big on making commitments to people or to organizations. Generation Y is too busy trying to “find themselves” in order to commit to anybody or anything. Companies have complained about the turn over rate of Generation Y. Companies invest lots of money training new employees only to have them leave after two years so they can find a new job. This reluctance to commit has carried over to the interaction between the sexes. Young adults don’t want to be tied down to someone just in case they get an itch to go on a backpacking trip to Europe.

2. The internet has retarded Generation Y’s social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, Generation Y sends Crush alerts on Facebook. While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships. If you’re over 18 and you’re still using Facebook applications to let someone know you’re interested in them, you need to be punched in the face.

3. Feminism. Before I receive the wrath of all the feminists telling me it’s a typical man thing to blame women for the decline in dating, I ask that you hear me out. I think feminism is great. It’s great that women can choose to have a career, be a stay-at-home mom, or do both.

But it does make things confusing for men. Navigating relations among the sexes is a bit more tricky today. Men have all these questions go through their head: Who asks? If I ask, will she think I’m too forward? Who pays for the date? Do we split the bill? All these uncertainties cause men to avoid dating altogether and opt for hanging out with women instead.

4. Men today are ________. Men today aren’t very resilient. They don’t know how to handle rejection or failure, so they avoid rejection or failure by not asking women out on dates.

Why date?

A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a a very desirable thing. 

So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married. Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

Resurrect Dating

So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

5. Just do it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.

marriage counseling

Kid History always makes me laugh! Ok, some Ill admit are a bit "gross", but for the most part, I find them amusing :) Just in case you needed or know of someone who needs marriage counseling..... :P

Hi there! We had a great rain to water our grass & flowers, everything is green again. Our house is up for sale through a Realtor now & we are having our first 2 showings tomorrow :) We found a house & the offer was accepted, now we have to just sell ours. The Lord is in control of these things, yes?

 Its been nice to be off of Facebook, the place of worthless drama & self adoration, a daily morale booster for many. I will be doing a post on this sometime soon. It can be used for good & then again.....  well, you know what I mean. I will get back on eventually, but I'm enjoying my life with keeping this house show ready & knitting for the Etsy Shop I will eventually open. So much more to do than journaling my life on FB.  Lets see.... hmmm... loving our Paleo eating, cutting out major gluten, that's another story. Getting back to health is wonderful! Fell off the wagon for a few years & now back on track. You are what you eat for sure! Its liberating :) 

Working on making all of our self-care products, a new adventure for me. Getting rid of any soaps & shampoos with real-bad-for-you chemicals. Have some neat things in the works coming up here that the Lord is keeping us busy with. I have been writing out the Psalms in a note book, really enjoying this & taking every word in. I plan on doing this with other books of the Bible, just a great way to process everything I read. Its helped me in many ways. Thats about all from this end, we are busy, busy, busy... but in a good way :) Well, enough about me :)

* I found this cute piece that I thought you might enjoy reading, I know I certainly did! Cheers :) *

Our Love Story

Candra (Brightwell) Evans

Our love story begins August 27th, 2009 with a Facebook message from my friend Bryan.

“Hey…long time. Random question…r u still single? Dating? I absolutely know u’d be perfect for my brother……”

On this day and at this moment I was the queen of Christian contentment.  I was thirty-four years old and for the first time in many years I was happy with my single life. 

However, several months before this, I found myself on the floor in tears one day.  I was so weary that I physically could not stand up.  I laid there lonely, depressed, and longing for a love I could call my own.  My hope was delayed and my faith was failing.  Fear overwhelmed me and Satan battled for my mind. 

My self-esteem was low.  Thoughts of a bright future were few and far between.  Love of any kind seemed unattainable. 

I never imagined I would be single for that long, and I never sought a purpose, a vision, or dream, just for me.  I was under the delusion that the approval of others justified the need for my existence.  Therefore I would not be whole until I had a husband.

Walking by faith was a choice that I had to make alone.  God offered to me His love and grace, but it was up to me to take it and live in it.

That day on the floor would be my last and I began fighting for my life like a mad woman. 

After months of abundant prayers, fasting, consuming God’s Word, and praising Him in faith, the Lord delivered me from a depressed spirit.  Finally, the joy of contentment was mine!

So there I sat on August 27th.  I just arrived home from work.  I read Bryan’s words over and over again.

I was reigning in contentment, pursuing my dream of becoming a writer, and starting this blog.  There was no time for distractions.  I was so happy in Jesus and loving my life spent with Him, that I did not want to waste my time on another dead end romance.  I was done searching.  All the love I needed, I was getting from God. 

About the only way I would find myself falling in love,

is if the Lord dropped a man from the sky.

On August 27th …He kind of did. 

There I was reading this message from someone I hadn’t heard from in a very long time.

“Hey…long time. Random question…r u still single? Dating? I absolutely know u’d be perfect for my brother……”

Not yet sensing the move of God, I replied back that I was not interested. 

This did not settle with Bryan or his wife.  They were persistent to get us together.  So I gave in and said it would be okay for his brother to give me a call. 

Fear no longer ruled in my life so why not go on this date?  I knew I was not the same woman I was before.  Before, I would come home and sulk after a bad date.  But this time I could be excited to meet someone new and if nothing else, I was going to network and ask him to share my new “Christian singles blog”!

We played phone tag and finally on a Monday night around 10 pm I answered to the sound of this amazing voice saying my name.  We talked for a little while and he asked me to have dinner with him the following Thursday. 

 His name was Ronald Evans, Jr.

He was 39 years old, a firefighter,

rental property owner, and a pastor….whoa  

When he knocked on my apartment door that evening and I was ready to have an enjoyable night out.  It didn’t matter if love would be in the air or not.  I was going to have fun and appreciate whatever God had in store for us.  I gave myself a pep talk earlier in the day.

“You are beautiful.  You are blessed. 

If this is not a love connection, it IS okay. 

God has you in His hands and at the appointed time you will receive the answer to your prayer.  If you have a good time, praise God, and if you don’t have the best of times, praise God.  It is because of Him that you have abundant life and nothing can keep God’s love from you.”

After taking in a deep breath, I opened the door to an incredible smile, kind eyes, and hands outstretched.  I then exhaled in his arms as he gave me a warm embrace.

We spent the evening eating, talking for hours, laughing, and sharing stories.  I tried but I could not resist the fall.  He was charming, handsome, fun, loving, and wise beyond his years.

I thought that somehow I would lose sight of my “Christian single woman” power if I fell in love.  But there was nothing to fear.

God lead me to let go and fall in love.  So I did…knowing that as I fell, God was still with me, and He sent Ronnie to catch me.  I knew when Ronnie left my door to return to his car that I would see him again and see him for the rest of my life.

On September 21st, 2009, Ronnie asked if we could make our relationship exclusive…no more looking…no more searching…no more waiting… God said, “It’s time.” 

December 8th, 2010, Ronnie proposed to me in the church where our wedding would take place.  On his knee he presented a diamond ring and a bag full of Hershey’s Kisses (It was our symbol of physical love until fully expressed on our wedding night.) 

We returned there August 20th, 2011 to say, “I do”. 

We honor God because this is not our love story, alone.  God has been united with us since the beginning.  Our love story is His creation.

Who knew this one Facebook message would change our lives forever….

 “Hey…long time. Random question…r u still single?

Dating?

I absolutely know u’d be perfect for my brother……”

 

getting married to the right person

Well, this gives me an oppurtinity to link back to a wonderful blog I follow, but even more so, adore this beautiful, young women that shares her sweetness with all of us :) She is a dear & loves the Lord; I hope to meet her very soon. Found this little gem on her blog & she has given me permission to use it even though she herself has just shared it :0) Thank you, Samantha!

Go visit & follow Samantha at: Simple Delights

http://simpledelights-samantha.blogspot.com/2013/07/for-one-reason-or-another-it-seems-many.html#comment-form

Getting Married to the Right Person

Ron Hutchcraft

When one of our ministry team got married, most of our team was there. We have a lot of fun together, and anticipating that the bride would do the customary throwing of the bouquet at the reception, a special warning had been given to Pam, one of the single young women on our staff. She was told that two big guys had been designated to tie her to her chair when it was time for the bouquet tossing. In case you've missed this little custom, the story is that whoever catches the bride's bouquet will be the next one married. Well, the big guys never materialized and Pam made sure she was front and center for the big moment. The other girls...they never stood a chance. Playing defense with her flying elbows, Pam lunged to make the big catch. It's the first time we'd ever know of first-aid being administer at a bouquet toss. Okay, that's a little exaggerated....but just a little. Pam was not to be denied having the next wedding! By the way, who thought up this custom anyway?

"I'm getting married soon, whatever it takes!". Well, the grabbing of a bridal bouquet is sort of a fun pursuit of that goal. For many, there's nothing fun about it. It's the most serious pursuit of their life.

It may be that you, or someone you know, are really living to be married. When you want it badly and it just isn't happening, it's easy to become more and more frustrated - and more and more desperate. This can, in turn, cause you to make some lifetime mistakes that will only cost you the very happiness you want so much; a mistake like settling for the wrong person. One longtime single man said it this way: "I'd far rather live wanting what I don't have than having what I don't want." Some who belong to Jesus settle for marrying someone who doesn't even share that most important of all relationships. That's why the Bible commands, not suggests, commands, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14)Violate God's boundary and you get a marriage without God's blessing, and no love is worth that.

Genesis 24:14 suggests that powerful prayer for every single person, " Let her (or him, as the case may be) be the one the Lord has chosen." Many people have made a lifetime marriage mistake because of loneliness and desperation, and they all agree: there is something lonelier than not being married, and that's being married to the wrong person. That's the loneliest lonely of all.

Our word for today from the Word of God is an awesome promise for anyone wondering if they will ever have the love they crave. Philippians 4:16 says, "My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." No one knows you better than the God who made you, including all your deepest needs. It won't be a man or woman who will ultimately meet those needs. It will be the God behind that promise. He's promised to give you what you need- what your Creator knows you need, not necessarily what you think you need. And He always meets our needs in His perfect time. Those who try to rush it, ruin it.

Maybe you've almost put your life on hold until you find that man or woman to marry. Don't waste a precious day of your life waiting for what you don't have. Live this day - single or married- with all your heart! And don't let your waiting start to turn you hard, cynical, bitter and negative. Those kinds of responses insult the God who said He will meet your needs, and they repel love rather than attract it.

Don't miss what God is doing in your life because all you can focus on is what you wish He was doing. Celebrate this day, knowing "this is the day the Lord has made" (Psalm 118:24). and that the Lordis your Shepard and you shall not want.

-A Daily Word by Ron Hutchcraft, Day 18