Wednesday, August 14, 2013

how to be a lady

A Gibson Girl tea party

Sometimes I think being a lady is a thing of the past. I often wonder this as I run errands & observe women :) We have become such a casual society that when a lady does behave like a lady, we all kinda look at her as if she were strange in some way; how backwards we have become. Men whether they know it or not are attracted to ladies. They know when they have been exposed to one ~ true! Although running into a true lady these days seems like finding a needle in a haystack. 

Someone lacking in the lady department :

* behaves immaturely ( talks loudly; laughs loudly with constant attention getting)
* swears or makes off color remarks
* chews like a cow (no table manners)
* looks unkempt (messy hair ect....)
* she may be over dramatic (again for attention)
* whines & sings her sentences
* wears pajamas out in public (oh wait, that's fashion!)
* chases men! manipulates to get what she wants (flirts, takes the mans position)
* she hangs out with friends who have bad character
* does not accept responsibility for her actions
* spends money foolishly
* lives a fairy tale life (Cinderella sydrome)
* loves to gossip (possibly even in the form of a prayer request)
* thinks lying is ok
* is self loving ~ must be #1 in all things (loves to shine!)
* has a glamour girl mentality (always seeking attention)
* over bearing
* a passion for things of this world

 Not an exhaustive list; I think it would be never ending. :) 

We all have sin; our goal as ladies should be to work on our own personal issues of bad character & personal grooming habits; our speech; our poise; & the list goes on..... with the goal: to honor the God of the Bible.

high tea Ok, ok, Ill admit, I can be very  unladylike at times :shudder: but we all can, yes? Take a look around you next time you are shopping or out & about & evaluate how far gone we really are as women.  What is a lady? What does it mean to behave like a lady? What steps can we take as women to advance this idea? How can it be that "there once was a time" that being a lady was of worth, but now being sexy or loose is of value? Scary. Its not only our outward appearance that counts, but our character that speaks the loudest.  It is also true that a woman may look like a lady outwardly, but may be catty on the inside, as the saying goes ~ "looks are deceiving."

What are young men looking for in a young lady? The first thing that attracts obviously is the outer appearance, its what a man sees first until they get a chance to talk to the lady they are attracted to. Truly though if he is serious, he will see the heart. Even with your flaws, even with sin, its the heart that counts. Is she living for Christ? Is her goal to please the Lord & walk with Him? I think a man will overlook some things if he sees your passion for Christ, that is if that is what he is looking for. Its a sad thing when even the Christian men out there do not see virtue & have fallen prey to the "unlady" ~ the ungodly. 

"Being a lady is your gift to society. Your behavior will encourage others around you to want to behave well."   (me ~)  

Below is the "modern day" lady.  I used this particular blurb from the web, because I strongly disagree with point #4. Notice nothing here really talks about character, although "kindness" is mentioned; a very vague statement. You can be "kind" in deceit. 

Jeremiah 17:9-10

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

10 I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

How To Be A Lady


    • 1
      Be polite. While traditional guidelines suggest that women should act as shrinking violets, being a lady does not necessarily mean being submissive. A lady, in all her wisdom, should keep a cool head under pressure and outwit her adversaries with meaningful, well chosen words.
    • 2
      Maintain a well groomed appearance. While women should not feel that they need to dress up every day, grooming is a sign to the outside world that a woman is ladylike. Instead of throwing on tattered sweats, choose a nicely fitted jogging suit to run errands. Instead of leaving the house with no make-up, try a quick 5-minute face in the morning. Carry your sense of the ladylike throughout your wardrobe.
      tea party
    • Educate yourself. Today's proverbial "lady" should be educated and able to hold up her end of a conversation. By staying on top of world events and keeping your mind active through reading and meaningful television viewing, you can carry on a conversation charged with intellectual heft and interest.
    • 4
      Be independent. In a drastic shift away from traditional ideas of ladylike, the contemporary woman is considered a lady if she can stand on her own two feet. Women hold down careers, raise children or live the single life dependent upon their choices and preferences. An independent woman is the pinnacle of ladylike.
    • 5
      Nurture kindness. Perhaps the most recognizable sign of a lady is kindness. Whether a woman is kind to her parents, friends, lovers or the community at large, hardly any other characteristic is as valuable and contagious. on Being Absolutely Lovely


*Ok, this is more like it if we are striving for Biblical Womanhood*

Pebble Crossing

1. She handles herself gracefully (Proverbs 11:16)
2. She loves and embraces children (Psalm 113:9Titus 2:4
3. She speaks with wisdom (Proverbs 31:26
4. She has discretion (Proverbs 11:22)
5. She is able to be fully trusted by her husband (Proverbs 31:11)
6. She desires to be her husband’s most faithful companion and closest confidant (Malachi 2:14)
7. She joyfully embraces being a woman and abhors feminism (Psalm 113:9Romans 12:9)
8. She can manage her home well (Proverbs 31:27Titus 2:51 Tim 5:14)
9. She is diligent to accomplish anything entrusted to her care (Proverbs 31:131 Tim 5:10)
10. She is firm in her convictions and desires to teach younger women the virtues of godly 
womanhood through her example and instruction. (Titus 2:4)
11. She desires for, and encourages men to be leaders in their families, churches and society. (Isaiah 3:12Eph. 5:23Titus 1:5-6)
12. She desires to build up and strengthen her home (Proverbs 14:1)
13. She desires to raise and train the next president, not BE the next president (Proverbs 31:1Isaiah 3:12)
14. She believes children are a blessing from God, not a burden (Deut. 7:1433:24127:3)
15. She has a humble spirit (1 Peter 3:4)
16. She looks up to, follows, and respects her husband as the leader of the home (1 Cor. 14:35Eph. 5:33)
17. She has a quiet spirit, and influences others through godly conduct (1 Peter 3:1-24,1 Tim. 2:12)
18. She desires to be a mother of nations, not a leader of nations (Genesis 24:60)
19. She has a heart to open her home to hospitality and service to others (1 Tim. 5:10)
20. She cares for the saints (1 Tim. 5:10)
21. She is capable and skilled to clothe her family and decorate her home (Prov. 31:21-22)
22. She desires to model the examples of holy women in Scripture (1 Peter 3:5)
23. She has skills to prepare meals for her family and bless others through hospitality (Prov. 31:15)
24. She is able to teach her children with practical, life instruction (Proverbs 31:126,6:20)
25. She desires to please her husband and do him good all his life (Prov. 31:121 Cor. 7:34)
26. She is able to manage a business from her home (Prov. 31:18)
27. She can be trusted with wise discretion in spending (Prov. 31:16)
28. She cares for the poor and the needy (Prov. 31:20)
29. She clothes herself in modesty and good works and does not desire to attract or distract men’s eyes (1 Peter 3:3-41 Tim. 2:9-10)
30. She has a kind and helpful attitude (Prov. 31:26-27)
31. She is prudent: intelligent, productive, skillful, wise and has understanding (Prov. 19:14)

A woman such as this is priceless: her value is far above rubies. Her husband will exalt her, praise her, love her, give up his life for her, and her children will call her blessed. The man that finds such a woman, is truly undeserving of such an honor, as God has bestowed upon him a blessing only few will find.

“So my roommates asked me to describe what a godly woman looks like, so I pondered that for quite some time and then thought I’d share my answer with you all” ~ This was written by a young man, Luke Otterstad, 

Tea Party

Found a wonderful blog below & really liked this article that Mrs. King shares there: 

10 Qualities of a Lady

“Being female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice.”  
Being female does not guarantee a girl will grow up to be a lady and the current self-absorbed culture is not likely to model or promote the qualities of a lady. It is a process for a girl to become a woman and develop into a lady. Parents invest a great deal of time and resources to develop their daughter’s academic, athletic, or artistic talent, with little or no thought as to what is required for her to mature into a lady.
A lady understands that her appearance, behavior, and way of communicating provide others with valuable insight into her character. She knows that her true beauty is not acquired at a make-up counter, with a new outfit, or by following the latest Hollywood trend. Rather, she understands true beauty is first inward. A lady understands that her real strength is not found in trying to be like a man, but rather, in being gracious, thoughtful, kind, intelligent, self-assured, and poised.
The traits of a lady include:
  1. A lady is generous with her time, wisdom, and resources. She is a woman of her word and follows through with her commitments, whatever the cost. She willingly serves others and extends a hand to those in need. She manages her priorities and time well – understanding that she can only serve others after she has taken care of herself.
  2.  A lady possesses a positive outlook on life.  Her humor, wisdom, and consistent encouragement attract others to her.
  3. A lady is a life long learner. She maintains a teachable posture and embraces change for the better. She does not compare herself to others, but embraces her strengths and accepts her weaknesses.
  4. A lady models civility in how she treats others. She demonstrates respect, restraint, and personal responsibility in her appearance, behavior, and communication. She is honorable, and values and respects others.
  5. A lady is well-mannered and knows what is appropriate. She is able to navigate various social and professional settings with ease and proficiency. She embraces all people – those from other cultures, as well as individuals from various social and economic backgrounds.
  6. A lady possesses a strong work ethic. She takes pride in her labor at home and in the community, and strives to give her very best. She is trustworthy, loyal, and people speak well of her.
  7. A lady is poised, graceful, and confident. Her posture and body language communicate a strong personal presence.
  8. A lady is well-dressed. She knows how to select clothing that is modest, age appropriate, within her budget, and perfect for the occasion. She is well-groomed, practices good hygiene, and maintains her health. She understands that her personal appearance – the way she chooses to dress, groom, and carry herself – communicates instantly to others who she is.
  9. A lady is well-spoken and a generous listener. She knows how to effectively connect with others and communicate her message. Her words are kind, tactful, and free from gossip. She is gracious and inclusive.
  10. A lady manages her home and the needs of her family. She creates a welcome, peaceful, loving, and nourishing environment – a safe shelter from the storms of life. Her actions reflect whom she has chosen to be rather than base them upon the opinions of others.
Our society is a case in point for the need to embrace the understandable and, ultimately, achievable principles of being a lady.
The art of being a lady is relevant for today and it is accessible to every woman – young and old.

1 comment:

  1. Yay, you found one for the ladies! =)
    So many good things to think about and ponder - I know I want to be a lady! =D
    I loved the Biblical list of a lady.