Tuesday, May 7, 2013

the big mistake your tongue may be making

"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience"

The tongue has the power to destroy & to lift up. Girls are good about giving false flattery. Perhaps you know of someone who is quick to say something like, "hey, love the dress, you look beautiful!" But, you know she doesn't care much for you. Its kinda like the "kiss of death."  Girls are good at this sort of thing, all of us are. Well, I hope you are not :) 

Gossip is another problem we all deal with as fallen people. This article is a good reminder to me, causing me to be careful of what I share & how I share it. Sometimes I think we are too open as a society, no propriety. There was a time ( I love saying that) when we as a society would be more guarded, more discreet.... what happened? Now we just blab & we blab as if we are talking about a inanimate object. Never thinking of the consequences, purposely destroying someone else for our own gain (even within Christian circles). Somehow we feel high & mighty to know a few things about someone or it just makes us feel better about ourselves. Whatever the reason, its sin & it damages. Id like to cut my tongue out. As much as I work at trying to rid of all malice & truly I do work at it, as you know it is very easy to fall into that same pit. Well, James had a lot to say about this. :) 

I guess the best way to look at this is put the shoe on the other foot. All of us know what it feels like when we are gossiped about, when falsehoods are told about us, when we receive false flattery from lying lips. Well then, why do it to someone else? 

Ladies, how detestable we can be! To put back biting & flattery behind us can only grow us. If we are to praise a lady for how she looks or on her character its to be done with sincerity. Next time words slip from our mouths, lets swallow. HARD. 


a dialect British : godparent
b : companioncrony
c : a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others
We are all guilty of it & we know when we do it. 

1 a : the act or practice of flattering. 
(1) : something that flatters (2) : insincere or excessive praise
 obsolete : a pleasing self-deception

The Big Mistake Your Tongue May Be Making

Erin Davis
So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.

James was making a powerful point that we tend to forget—just like a single spark can burn a forest to the ground, our words (even just a few of them) have the power to destroy. If you take a minute to let James' words sink in, it's obvious that he's speaking the truth. You've been burned by the words of others, haven't you? And I bet you've allowed your words to singe others in return.
If we keep reading just a little bit further, we find a specific way our words can scald:
From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so (v. 10).
James specifically addresses "my brothers" in this verse, but I have a hunch that James knew a thing about girl-world when he penned these words. We're exceptionally good at spouting blessings and curses simultaneously. What might that sound like?
"She's really pretty, but she can be so stuck up."
"Yeah, she's nice, but sometimes she really gets on my nerves."
"She's such a flirt, but I just love her to death."

Blessings and curses coming out of the same mouth ... often in the same sentence. We girls know how to sugarcoat our burning words, don't we? But James simply reminds us that "these things ought not to be so."
In other words, stick to the blessings and ditch the curses all together. You've got no business using your words to tear down others, even if you wrap it in a compliment.
But sometimes, we just need to vent, right? After all, we're just being honest. If you've ever justified blessing and cursing that way, you need to check this out:
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Eph. 4:29).
This verse draws a hard line in the sand. If it tears others down, don't say it. If it builds others up, do. Good advice in light of the fact that our tongues are a spark capable of setting an entire forest ablaze, huh?
‘Fraid you can't straddle the fence here—you can either seek to tame your restless tongue by sticking to words that bless and build up, or you can keep starting fires by cursing and tearing down. So take a look at that hard line, and ask yourself these questions:
  1. Do you use your words to tear others down (even when they can't hear you)?
  2. Do you refuse to say anything that is unwholesome? That means that if it is harmful, impure, or unhelpful, you don't say it.
  3. Do you bless and curse at the same time? Do you wrap your put-downs in a compliment?


  1. Wow, such a good post!!! Really good reminder...so easy to fall into gossip!

    With that in mind, I think it is good to clarify that there are times when something a person has done needs to be shared with others to warn them and/or put them on their guard (personal experience here). We can use the label of "gossip" to shut up the truth sometimes, too.

    Hope I'm not being annoying, by the way. I just like discussion. :)

    1. Ally, I totally agree! Not everything is gossip, 100% truth right there. Some things have to be told & I hate when that is deemed gossip. So righto! Also when gossip goes around & its not truth, go to the source & confront them & ask them why they did what they did & let them know you will go back to the person they told the lies to with the purpose of clearing your name & the fact that you confronted the person who started the false gossip. RUN ON SENTENCE!!!! haha..

  2. Some verses come to mind on this discussion and the Lord has put it so much better than I ever could:

    Proverbs 30:32 If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth.

    Colossians 3:9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

    Proverbs 25:9-12 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.
    [I find it very interesting that the proverbs in verse 11 and 12 directly follow the admonition in 9 and 10. Not an accident!]

    Matthew 18:15-17 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

    In Ephesians 4:15 we are told to be "speaking the truth in love".

    Proverbs 29:5 A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.
    [Ultimately, flattery is a trap. The flatterer is trying to gain the approval, trust, friendship, etc. of the person they flatter while in reality they despise her/him. The person who believes the flattery is then entrapped or snared into trusting someone who is not trustworthy.]

  3. P.S. One more thought: Psalms 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

    It's really hard sometimes, but we should try to ask ourselves this - "Would I say this to the Lord Jesus if He were here?" Because He is. :-)