Yikes, that is a tough statement right there! Ok, ok, so some men do choose to ignore it, but I think some of the ladies out there killed it. Its so easy to blame the guys all the time, isn't it ;)
Ladies, we've all said this at one time or another! I like this article below; it is written from a mans perspective. Oh, & its so true!
Let Us Be Chivalrous from a Mans Perspective
It is a word that has been used for centuries by many men of many times, however; no matter how different his surroundings, or his way of life, the true gentleman has a deep connection with men who lived five hundred years ago. This connection is that of holding themselves to a higher standard, in particular, respecting and protecting women, not to put on a show, but out of love for all women through Jesus Christ.
This indeed is not an easy task, it takes great love, determination, and patience to make a gentleman. He has not only to open doors for ladies, or offer his chair to a lady when there are none left, but also to respect all women, ladies or not, in public, and when he is completely alone. Chivalry is what all men should and must strive for, however, without the example and encouragement of ladies, it is nearly impossible to attain successfully.
This is where you ladies come into play, it is because of you that we strive for chivalry, we see you holding yourselves to a higher standard and living out your life as a lady and it inspires us to hold ourselves to a higher standard as well, and to live out a life of chivalry and gentility. I do not think you realize just how greatly you can effect us guys. If a man is even simply open to becoming a gentleman, it is easy for a lady to make him one simply by being a lady. Things like letting him open the door for you, or giving up his chair for you, or walking on the street side of the sidewalk, and thanking him for these acts of kindness occasionally, letting him know that he is doing the right thing.
As a young man, I know that this is true by my own personal experience, not many compliments can compare with one coming from a girl saying how she appreciates me treating her like a lady, it really makes me feel good.
It is this very feeling that makes me all the more ready and willing to continue and excel in a life of chivalry. These small acts that you allow me, and all men striving for gentility, are the very foundations of a chivalrous life, the small acts build into greater ones, and eventually, you have a man who is self-motivated in serving and protecting women of all ages, one who begins to strive harder for gentility through his daily actions and even thought process, and all this because you allowed us to help you!
Now I know that society today thinks that real men are rough, tough, chew, drink, and swear. That is simply not true, real men are gentlemen, it takes far greater strength to be a gentleman and perform acts of service as a natural, daily occurrence than it is to be an undisciplined, rough, tough, guy. One only needs to look at the greatest example of true manhood, Jesus. He was kind and gentle to all women, even to those who were social outcasts and immoral, however, He endured the most horrific and humiliating death completely out of love for us. He was definitely no wimp, but He was the perfect picture of chivalry. One can also look at a slightly more modern example. The Knights of the middle ages were the most deadly warriors of their time, but their entire lives were devoted to protecting women, children, and the elderly. So do not be afraid to be ladies, you’re role is greatly honorable,and it will make men chivalrous, and you will be the ones effected by them.
So if you want to be treated like a lady, you must act like a lady in order to make us gentlemen. Lastly remember, you are a woman, and you are the most precious creature there is in our eyes, you are indeed God’s most beautiful and wondrous creation and He placed us men here on earth to honor and protect you, that is our calling as males, and our privilege as men.
Mark
Aw :) I love it. It's always so nice when a guy does this for us. I should be better about letting them know how great it is that they do that.
ReplyDeleteVery good post. It has been hard for me at times since I spent a lot of my teen years around men who didn't treat me like a lady most of the time. I treasure when men hold the door open or just act kind and considerate. As the oldest in my family (with the oldest boy being much younger and having special needs), I worked alongside my dad scrubbing grime off the pool, lifting mattresses up the stairs, cleaning the car, carrying heavy boxes, (all this with asthma!)etc... I am also rather strong-willed and vocal about my thoughts at times (since many times I have had to take a leadership role amongst my siblings and friends), BUT that makes me treasure men who are willing to do the "manly" things all the more! It is amazing to have the door opened for you. My husband makes a habit of it and I always thank him, no matter how many times he's done it.
ReplyDeleteAll this to say, great post! This world needs more gentlemen and more ladies who will allow them to be genteel.
Blessings!
Rachel
Very good post! Sometimes you don't know how guys think about these things- I enjoy reading the articles you share written by guys!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to remember sometimes that guys really are wanting to be gentlemen, but maybe just need "encouragement" or reminders to help it become a habit. I know with my brother we try to have him open store doors for us. Usually he remembers, but occasionally we have to say "run and get the door!" *smile*. It's a simple thing, but you're surprised at how nice it makes you feel. =)
For the girls, it is easy to not always let the guys be gentlemen - I know I don't always let them do things for me! It's not that I don't like it, because I do, but I usually forget that they need to get the door, or carry something heavy, etc, especially if they aren't right there, or hesitant/not offering to do something. Also, for me at least, being small sometimes wants to me want to "prove" myself, that I'm not weak or unable to do certain tasks, but if the guys are there I need to remind myself to step back and let them take over, even if I can physically handle something myself. It just takes a consciece effort on both sides, girls to let the guys do it, guys to remember to do it. And guys, we really do appreciate it! I'm always pleasantly surprised when a guy opens or holds a door for me, a REAL holding the door ( stepping to the side, holding it open as you enter or exit, instead of just holding it briefly with their hand so it doesn't shut in your face. Both are okay, but I really like the first one!).
It's easy for ladies to kill chivalry in guys with our " I can do it!" attitude. Instead, we need to step back and let them be gentlemen. =)
Lovely post. I believe feminism killed alot of it. My brother when dating his wife would open the car door for her,but she asked him to stop,she just didn't like it,which I surprised me,who wouldn't like getting treated that way. I once her a guy tell his daughters when you go out on a date stand outside the car until he opens it for you and inside the car when ou arrive until he opens the door. ;)
ReplyDeleteI always can pick out guys in a group who have gentlemen characteristics. They stand out and girls need to appreciate this characteristic. Alot of girls are effected by the feminism in this world alot of it is hidden in movies to (I make a point of finding tthem when I watch it,so I'm not efected by that thinking.) feel like guys who are acting in a chilvary manners either think they have a crush on them or the guy doesn't think they can do something by themselves which ladies sometimes its nice for our loads to be lightened, it doesn't matter if you can do it or not. The first maybe partly true too,but still not all the time is that the reason. :) Great post Mrs. F
What a well-written post! Thank you for sharing this. My brothers are both gentlemen, and the young men I am around are all gentlemen. The double-effect of this is it makes me want to be a lady more. To set a standard for them to see. I do (try to) say "thank you" every time I pass through a held-open door (or whatever the action), but I don't always take the time to REALLY say "thanks" to them. Now I will!
ReplyDeleteI remember one time, I was in a public place moving some chairs back that we had re-arranged and this guy whom I wouldn't have deemed a "gentleman" by looking at him just came over and helped me move them! It was a good lesson from God that there are plenty of gentlemen out there and they don't always look like we expect them too.
I think for ladies, although we want to fight it and show that we aren't this weakling, it is honoring. Guys, make sure you treat them with honor and respect, not with a "well, you are a little puny thing so I MUST do this for you". I appreciate the first, I don't the second. If you treat us politely, we will (sometimes it is eventually) treat you the same. :D
Guys out there. THANK YOU! Just as you are learning how to be a gentleman, so we are learning what it means to be a lady. And we do appreciate you!