Friday, February 21, 2014

You weren't made to be adored but to adore. You weren't made to be worshiped but to worship.

I ran across these fabulous words today:

"You weren't made to be adored but to adore.
You weren't made to be worshiped but to worship."

My thoughts:

Such truth, such powerful words. Woman struggle with this concept. Selfies; the constant promotion, the "having to be first" the obsession with needing to be loved & hugged through the screen. Those that use forums or social media to appear to all the voyeurs as having the "perfect" life. Tantalizing the men & hoping to make for envious women looking on. Someone who goes out of their way to be sure that all heads & hearts are turned toward her, almost as if it were a competition. The girl who  strives to be appealing to all men so that only she is noticed. The prowler; The Princess; The queen. Like a black widow who spins her web & captures her host only to shape & mold & make that victim hers. Sounds like a book? Unfortunately its real life. Its a heart condition. Its fear. Fear of not being first, fear of being rejected, fear of not being noticed, fear of losing. Therefor "ownership" is exercised & that comes through control or self-adoration. 

Years ago I heard a guest speaker on Focus on the Family *which I never go out of my way to listen to*  came across the radio waves & what I heard instantly drew me in. I cant remember word for word all that was said, but it stuck.

It was a woman who revealed the issues of her heart, the sin she loved the most. She talked about how she had to be "the only one & first in everything." Whether it be popularity, being the first to know a matter as if she had the heads up before anyone else, which is lying btw :) She liked to make others think she knew people very well even if  she hardly knew them at all, even those she had never met!  Sort of the ownership problem many gals struggle with. I "own" this person or that person, in whatever form, doesn't have to be one person, but a group of people etc... Making sure no one else gets to them first & giving a false appearance of I knew this first & I am the only one in on this ect... Its deceptive & attention seeking. Constantly talking about herself, the need for adoration. 
This guest speaker, Ill call her, Lisa,  tells the story of being on a flight with a family who were flying in to see their  son who was returning from the battlefield after a few years of being in Irac; a soldier. There were other families on the plane as well waiting for that glorious moment  that they too would soon be reunited with their loved ones. Well, while sitting, Lisa is  listening to all of this & just feeling all the emotions & just ready to burst with excitement as she too would be getting off the plane with her "new" family... & well... she just had to be a part of it all!! She began scheming & just had to participate somehow. (Wouldn't want to be left out, after all, she had to be first in everything, she had to outdo even this young mans family.) She just couldn't help but be a part of this very moment! Give credit where credit is due. 

Lisa knows this young soldiers name by now; knows what he looks like because of the signs they would present to him. Suddenly she became the most patriotic woman on this voyage, beaming & nervous to see & welcome this young man!  The woman was just tickled to death & could hardly get herself off the plane in fear of missing the moment to which she gave herself charge  & she owned it already in her mind, no one must outdo her.  If someone else knows something she doesn't or gets in on something before she does, it would make her feel left out or unimportant after all. And maybe not as popular. Even forgotten. 

Finally the moment shes been waiting for! THIS IS WHERE SHE SHINES, she has internalized this homecoming & is practically part of the family! She knows these people, they want her there & the soldier will be so glad that she is a part of this. Lisa steps off the plane & forgets that she too needed to get home, but instead she will stand with her new  family, sign & all while  yelling & chanting, "Welcome home!!!"  Hootin' & hollerin' speaking this  young mans name as if he were her own son! Family members stared at her, some glared. But she didn't care! Lisa had to let everyone know she was a part of this & that she knew this young man better than anyone else, loved him the most & owned him. Yes, owned. Sounds a bit far-fetched, but think about it, wasn't that what she was doing? His family didn't matter, the moment for them didn't matter. She mattered. I remember her saying that she wanted that recognition, she wanted people to think that she was a part of this coming home celebration. She was lying, she had deceived herself. But, it fulfilled something in her, to make everybody think she was all to everyone. And perhaps she can fool everyone or maybe some..... its worked plenty of times before. She is willing to risk it again & again & it usually happens when she feels threatened. 

 Well, he finally gets off the plane & he ran & hugged his families neck, he flew past her & didn't even notice her. He didn't even  thank her for coming for rejoicing in his home coming. Foolish woman. 

It was that moment that the woman realized that she had a problem. It was much deeper than she thought. The need to have ownership & be known as the woman who everybody loves & the woman that is so important that no other woman would ever compare was an impostor. Her need to be in the forefront of every situation, every little thing became an idol. The idol of self love, the idol of wanting to shine & be known as the most important, the one that matters the most. The attention seeker. The need to be worshiped, adored.

She wants the acknowledgment, she wants the praise & only she ought to be noticed for fear of others taking her rightful place where only she must be. 

As she looked around, she became ashamed. Lisa was suddenly feeling embarrassed. No one cared that she was there. She deceived herself as she had many times before, she pretended that she was loved by everyone as she made up stories in her head to suit her false dreams & false relationships. Sort of like character playing. She could hardly look at anyone as she held that sign. And so, with head hanging low & going unnoticed, she left.  How could they not notice? After all she did so much for them. 

The attention seeking gets old quick for the wise ones, but for some who are not seeing clearly  or were deceived by her actions in the past may never catch on.  The girl who desires hugs & love through a screen (Im referring to a computer screen) will do whatever it takes to win her victim. She will tantalize & use her charm & whatever else she has to use to get what she wants. What keeps her going? Sometimes it does work & that is fuel to go on. Any bit of encouragement for this sort of woman is vital for survival. If the one or whatever she is after responds, its enough to attempt more in hopes of getting the fulfillment she needs to finally get what she wants. 

I've been told that I'm harsh on the ladies & I admit that I am. Try & remember that not every woman out there takes her insecurities to this limit, but it is a problem with some & we as woman do have the potential to be like the woman on the plane. She had to look long & hard in the mirror of her soul. She had to come to a point of realization that she had a much bigger issue & that only God could curb her appetite of wanting all for herself. Only He could give her security, and most importantly only He is to be adored & worshiped.

She tried to steal the moment. She gathered all the info she needed to make things go her way,  to make it look like to others that she had the info first. She got the names down, grabbed a sign, chanted & cheered & did all the right things, but she stole from the family on that flight that day. She took what wasn't rightly hers, because after all she is going to get what she wants & that means in any way, shape or form; whatever that looks like, whoever it hurts. A glory grabber.

Perhaps its a challenge for you. Perhaps its something that you never thought about or maybe you never decided it was a problem. But we know, don't we? We know our hearts can be desperately wicked. Woman just know. If you are walking in the Spirit & desire to obey God, you know. Im sure there are men out there who have this problem, but I doubt it. Woman demand worship & we do it with whatever power we have.

I guess the temptation is there to have to be the gal who is "first" & demand ownership, but at the expense of others?

If the Lord has given you something that you deem is an asset, use it for good to bless others not take away to please your appetite to be desired. Imagine the blessings if He alone received your adoration. The Bible says, He is a jealous God!  It may be a stretch for you or maybe seems an impossibility to die in this area, but imagine the fulfillment you would receive giving rather than taking. It can be washed away with prayer & with the help of the Holy Spirit.

A women s desire to be loved can do more damage than good.

The vs. that I connect with here & makes so much sense to me is:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. ... 1 John 4:18

1 Sam 16:7

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

Mat. 23:28

Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Col. 3:17

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him

Too many verses to count, so much can be applied. 

"Lie" - "...a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive..." - Random House College Dictionary.

"Deceit" - "act or practice ... intended to ... mislead by a false appearance or statement" - Random House College Dictionary.

The difference is that a lie is generally spoken; but deceit includes anything, whether words or deeds, that are intended to lead people to believe what is not true.

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