Thursday, December 26, 2013

the powerful influence of a lady

A favorite blog: What Would Mrs. King Do? Keeps bringing me back. I love her practical advice & that she is a sharp shooter; no beating around the bush with this gal. I enjoyed this article & I hope you too will glean from it. 

Being a mother to 5 daughters has challenged me in many ways, we have our strong points  & of course I see where I could have been a bit firmer in areas. One important aspect to me was to be sure I have daughters that look like ladies. The outer appearance is so very important: cleanliness, well kept hair, clean vibrant clothes ect....  Not glamour girls who flaunt & put on airs, but daughters you could look at & find a sweet beauty from within. I never wanted "fake" girls or girls who had to push to be the center of attention,  the center of it all & the star of the show. I wanted clean, well kept ladies who care about how they look & who embrace their femininity. Woman are beautiful, after all God made us that way. But, you can paint the barn & have a messy place inside. 

I thought, how often do we as women or perhaps you may know of someone who does hold the outer shell of a lady, but her heart is jealous & wicked? Its easy to fool everyone around us, yes? But, truly there is torment on the inside when we know in our heart of hearts that there needs to be a major clean up going on.  So, we have a lot of work to do yes, ladies? I know I do! Beauty is tantalizing in a woman, its highly attractive to men! Clean up the inside & keep the outside lustrous, its sure to go a long way. An average looking woman ends up being far more beautiful to a man when her character radiates through & Jesus is the center & the thrust to make it happen. Again, no falseness, only the true you. Allow people to get to know who you really are, not the person you want them to think you are. The computer can aid a false image & we know when we are putting it on. Trying to impress those around us in hopes of getting attention. If you begin with the heart issues, you will have no need to be someone you're not. 

I love the quote Mrs. King uses below: 
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” Margaret Thatcher
Aint it the truth! I've met women who have to constantly remind others of how much of a lady they are, how fabulous they are, how beautiful they are, oh & how convincing they can be! Their actions are so very different than what they claim. I want to be different, I want to be a lady. 

The Powerful Influence of a Lady
“Have you met Chantal? She is such a lovely lady.” A casual comment like this, said in a positive tone, has the power to endear one person to another, or to create outrage. The difference lies with the person who hears the comment and how she defines what a “lady” is.
Who is a lady? The dictionary defines a lady as a well-bred woman; — the female counterpart to a gentleman; a woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken; a woman of high social position or economic class; any woman; a female.
I recently presented the following question to various professionals globally, “What does it mean to be a ‘lady,’ or a ‘gentleman,’ in today’s society? Is it valued?” The feedback shed an interesting light on how our current society views being a lady.
While many embrace the notion of being a lady, or a gentleman, today, others find the term lady distasteful and sexist. Interestingly, they do not find the term gentleman to be distasteful or sexist. Being a lady brings to mind comments like, “Nice ladies don’t speak up, and nice ladies don’t cross their legs.” One individual noted that in Sweden they have opted to not call children “boys” and “girls” anymore and joked that Dr. Seuss may have had it correct to call them “Thing 1” and “Thing 2.”
The majority of men and women aligned their beliefs with the dictionary definition that a lady is not only who she is according to gender, but also how she behaves.
Personally, I embrace being called a lady
, as I view this term to refer to my being gracious, thoughtful, kind, self-assured, poised, and female. I know who I am—my strengths and my weaknesses—and am able to move through life with an unyielding confidence rooted in my character and displayed as class. I possess clear boundaries, both personally and professionally, and respect the boundaries of others.
A lady is one who embraces her background and has mastered the art of how to dress, speak, and behave in every situation. Here are a few insights into what it is to be a modern lady.

Her Background
  • She is not required to be born into the right family or experience a silver spoon upbringing; she demonstrates instead care and consideration for self and others, which is rooted in civility.
  • She values education—both formal and self-study—and is committed to lifelong learning.
  • She develops, uses, and trusts her intuition.
Her Appearance

  • She accepts, embraces, and maximizes her physical appearance.
  • She selects clothing that suits her style and suits the occasion.
  • She understands the value of mystery and modesty.
Her Walk
  • She moves with grace, elegance, strength, and confidence.
  • She plans her day well and is not hurried.
Her Speech
  • She speaks with kindness and consideration.
  • She is thankful and tactful in her communication.
  • She gives and accepts compliments with ease.
Her actions
  • She maintains high moral character and integrity, and protects it at all cost.
  • She is generous with her time, talent, and resources.
  • She is courteous, polite, thoughtful, and loyal.
  • She honors and respects all people.
While one is born female, the art of being a lady must be developed and nurtured. For some, this skill is learned in her family as she grows up. For others, the skill is honed through observation, attending classes, reading books, and trial and error. For all, becoming a lady is a lifelong process and commitment as our society embraces reality TV, careless dress and grooming, trash talk, and increasingly shocking behavior.

Today’s lady shares equal status and responsibility in all aspects of society—whatever her life choices are personally and professionally.
Being a lady is not as much about what she does, but rather, who she is, and how she navigates herself through life. You instantly know, and never forget, when you have been in the presence of a lady. She is classy, elegant, polite, compelling, and intoxicating. Being in the presence of a true lady or gentleman is a powerful and memorable experience.
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” Margaret Thatcher


  1. Very nice post! I especially liked the part about not being the star of the show and being pushy. True ladies aren't! Quick question, though - who is Mrs. King?

    1. Thanks, Alicia :) I have no idea who Mrs. King is! hahaha... Although, I like her blog & I really like what she has to say most of the time. :) Blessings ~

    2. Thank you! I was curious if she was someone you quoted recently or from a book. Appreciate the clarification. :)

  2. Is there one of these list for being a gentleman? I can definitely say I've met one or two intoxicating ladies.

    1. hmmmm.... good question. I shall do some research :)

  3. Great post, always things to keep in mind as we ladies strive to be just that - ladies. =)

    The only difficulty I experience when reading these posts is that I have a hard time knowing exactly how someone with a more adventurous personality can still be a lady without killing the personality God has given her. I definitely agree with the points made by Mrs. King, they are very good and definitely something to cultivate in one's life. I guess as a somewhat adventurous/fun loving/etc person myself (though I wouldn't consider myself a tomboy, I definitely lean more to the feminine/girly side, with a splash of mischief and adventure ;) )sometimes I feel like I'm not as much of a lady as other girls I know because I'm not spending the majority of my time indoors, taking care of little children, and finding enjoyment in quiet activities (though there is nothing wrong with that!) I suppose those of us who have those tendencies just need to be extra careful to do our fun activities in a lady like way and take care to keep our dress feminine, though appropriate and modest for the activity. Thoughts??

    1. Samantha, I know! You are so right. I dont think we need to "kill" the personality God has given us. In my experience, a lady can have the whole "package" in order on the outside, but is wild on the inside, loose even. So what good does that do? The hypocrisy of it all! In other words, the image is there, but the house is a mess.

      Quick story: We used to go to a church where the Word of God certainly was preached; fantastic! However, the ladies that went to this church were like "stepford Christians" all out of the same cookie mold; perfect hair, almost all cut the same, perfect dress, Bible in hand, but the outside didnt always fit their attitude. The snobbishness was beyond what I could take. So, they looked all put together, but they weren't feminine at all.

      Id rather hang out with a gal that has some vinegar & cleans up nice than a fake that looks good, but has a wicked heart. See?

      To me being a lady begins in our soul. Its the heart, our actions, our demeanor, our ways, but being modest doesnt mean dying.

      I can understand the confusion, because on the other side of the coin is shame-facedness. How do we die to self & behave in such a way that we represent Christ? Im wild at heart, my personality is such that I love to have fun & Im extremely bold, but I know in certain situations I have to be on my best behavior. For me, I have to evaluate my surroundings, who Im with, will the people Im with handle my personality? Ive worked on myself for years. Ive learned when the right time to talk is or give my opinion. Ive learned to gauge what is appropriate in every situation. My silly personality has gotten me into many uncomfortable waters. Ive toned down quite a bit, but when I have opportunity to be me, I go for it! And I think most people appreciate the real me, they see that I am real & true, & thats all that matters to me is that I glorify God through my actions & deeds & that people like me for who I really am.

      Its a struggle!!!!