Tuesday, May 28, 2013

holding out for a hero

Hi there! Im really, really excited about my next post, probably because its not mine :)  Im not much of a blog reader, but I do try to stop once in awhile to look at blogs & this is one of the times Im glad I did! So, excited to have Vicki at http://nomoreafraid.blogspot.com/2013/05/holding-out-for-hero.html post featured here today. Good stuff & Vicki hits the nail on the head, I like the way she thinks :) Anyway, I do hope this is an encouragement to you as well. Thank you, Vicki for allowing me to share your wisdom with my readers. :) 

"Vicki Sands is a busy college student from the Midwest, chasing her dream of giving a voice to the voiceless (Prov. 31:8) through speech therapy. She makes as much time as she can for her passions of writing, nature photography, and geeky movies ... but her life's biggest adventure is discovering more every day about her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and learning to walk in His steps. You can catch her in between classes at

Go & say hello to Vicki & don't forget to follow! 

Holding Out for a Hero

It can be easy to "settle" mentally for the thought of marrying someone less than what I really want in a future husband.

What I mean is, when I see my friends all around me getting engaged and married and wonder when (or, more often, if) my time will come, I start mentally reviewing the things I am looking for in my future husband and wonder if I could maybe fudge on those a little bit.

Sure, I want him to be a man, not a boy ... but maybe I could deal with it if he were at least on the way to becoming a man.

Sure, I want him to be as in love with the Lord as I am ... but maybe it would be okay as long as he was pretty close.

Sure, I want him to be at least as educated/intelligent as me and enjoy discussing and working with abstract topics ... but maybe a concrete thinker wouldn't be too bad, or maybe I could get used to him.

Normally, I'm very strong in my independence and my commitment to waiting for just the kind of man I want (maybe too strong? more thoughts on that another time). But when I meet a good-looking guy in class, or listen to a friend talk about what fun she has with her boyfriend, or scroll quietly through someone else's engagement pictures, then the doubts start to creep in.

What if I'm too picky? What if I'm unrealistic? What if my man only exists in an Austen novel or a Disney movie?

Then it seems like I would be better off to "settle." Yeah, he's immature, but at least he's a Christian ... yeah, he's a little less churched than I would like, but at least he gets along well with his parents ... yeah, we share virtually no interests, but at least he would be able to financially support me ...


I say no. I don't want to settle for someone who will not lead me higher and closer to the Lord. I don't want to settle for someone who will not challenge me, help me grow, and have ways in which I can do the same for him.

I know the kind of man I'm looking for is hard to find, but he does exist, and I'm not going to get impatient and let my desperation push me into a mediocre, "meh" relationship.

I want a marriage that is spectacular, not average. I want to marry a man whom I respect, admire, look up to, and am excited about being with. I want my children to have an awesome father.

Does he have to be perfect or superhuman? Absolutely not - if he were, he wouldn't be interested in someone like me! Each of us has flaws, and I will do my best to help my future husband get stronger in his faith and relationship with Christ, just as I know he'll do for me. But what I mean is, if I settle for a man whom I don't look up to, whom I don't understand or respect, just because I'm tired of being alone ... I will be doing a huge disservice to him and to myself.

I'm holding out for a hero.

I'm holding out for a man who is radically in love with the Lord and isn't afraid to let people know it. I'm holding out for a man who has not compromised with this sinful culture, even though he seems old-fashioned. I'm holding out for a man who is aman, not a boy, not a "guy," not a man-child who lives only to please himself - a man who gives his time and energy to help others, a man who protects the vulnerable, a man who is willing to stand up for himself and for his family. That's what makes a hero in my book.

There aren't very many heroes today - truly, there haven't been many in any age. But a man doesn't have to be big and outgoing and world-shaking to be a hero, either. It's heroic to give up a Sunday afternoon to watch your sister's kids for a few hours. It's heroic to tell the classmates or coworkers you care about that you still believe abortion and homosexuality are sins. It's heroic to dare to ask a girl's father if it's okay to take her out.

That's what I'm looking for. That's my hero.

He might not be Captain America - he might be small, geeky, soft-spoken, and shy. That's fine by me. He's my hero ... and I will wait and save my heart for him.


  1. Aw, thanks so much for reblogging this, Patrizia - it looks great!! I'm very honored that you wanted to share this with your readers, and I hope it blesses them to read it as much as it blessed me to write it! :-)

    ~ Vicki

  2. Thanks so much for this. I really needed some encouragement. It sure can be rough, waiting for just the right man. I also feel sometimes like my expectations and wishes are just too much to hope for in this day and age. But I have met some pretty special young men that have many qualities I find important, just not my personal choice. I guess we just have to wait and pray! Wishing all other young ladies who are find the waiting tough, lots of patience and 'stick-to-it-tiveness'!!!

  3. Well at least you have a picture of Captain America on your blog. That's all that matters to me. :P (Kidding.)

    Anyway, this is a good post. I'm holding out for that hero in spite of everyone else telling me I'm picky/think I'm someone special/looking for perfection. I'm sometimes afraid I AM too unrealistic/picky, which makes me often discouraged and wondering if something so big and amazing could ever happen to ME. But hey, we only live once and I want a marriage that will move mountains so I continue to hold out. I also want to prove that God is capable of anything...absolutely anything. I'm going to turn around and say to them, "watch me," and prove to them a marriage like that is completely possible.
    I hope I can be the kind of woman, a heroine, some guy out there really needs and couldn't live without; I don't expect a knight to come sweeping me off my feet; perfect, beautiful, godly; while I'm selfishly pursing my own desires/rolling around in my sins. THAT is unrealistic and selfish. I want to be just as heroic to him as he will be to me. That's a whole other topic. =)

    I could probably write this better if I hadn't just woken up. Sorry. =)

  4. This post was all kinds of awesomeness sauce, SO true, and exactly what I needed today. Thanks so much for sharing!!!

  5. Thank you so much for re-posting this! I really, really needed to hear this! It is discouraging to look around and see just a handful of guys that are "heroes"....and that they are already engaged! :p

    Your words are true. We should never settle. I have seen the downfalls of that and don't ever want to do that! What I appreciated most were your words of wisdom. We shouldn't settle but our expectations should be realistic. This is something I pray for- realistic thoughts on my courtship/marriage. Satan would love nothing more than to distract us with our "Prince Charming" thoughts, and then knock us down to where we marry the boy who isn't a man yet. Sometimes it is just a few extra years before they are ready! I can wait a few years- what does that matter when you compare it to 50+ excellent years!!!! :D

    Thanks for the encouragement- and you couldn't have posted a better "hero" picture! Captain America is excellent because of his selflessness and sacrifice. A good example of a truly golden heart! :)

    Thank you!